In every instance, deviation from the proven successful path is prompted by the promise of a spectacular payoff if the deed can be done. In the golf example, one could turn a probable bogey into a possible birdie, but the odds are against it. In tennis, it’s a wonderful feeling to zing one past your flat-footed and open-mouthed opponent, but more will go out than go in.

A while back I was planning an annual sales conference with a treasured customer. We decided that the three National Sales Managers, each in charge of a separate product group should make a presentation together, using a team-teaching approach I had devised for them. We had planned, rehearsed and tied all the material together into a tight, cohesive, well-orchestrated unit and we were all quite excited about delivering it.

One of the managers had been working for a long time on a deal that would bring a sorely needed half-million dollars in revenue to the company. He was working like a dog to get this deal into the boat. Some three days before the sales meeting, he announced that he’d have to go to Houston to make a presentation to the executive committee of his customer and would be absent from the first day of the sales meeting, when part of his presentation was scheduled.

I hollered and yelled and ranted and pouted, but the company president held fast that it was more important to get this one deal than to have his manager attend the sales meeting. It was a logical position to hold, particularly when the short-term gratification is so much easier to see than the long-term good for the company.

I’d love to tell you that the sales meeting tanked because he wasn’t there, but it didn’t. It was a little choppier than I would have preferred, but I don’t think the audience noticed it and they seemed happy. I’d love to tell you that he made that sacrifice and then blew the deal, but he didn’t. He made the deal and that may end up being the worst news of all. Both the manager and the company president are convinced that they made the right decision, yet bitter experience has told me that taking the expedient route seldom pays off in the long run. When it works, it just weakens us and makes the next tough decision even harder.

The expedient way and the right way are seldom the same way.

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

21. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

Anybody notice that there is no #5?

—Gordon Livingston, Livingston Realty, Huntington Beach, CA

THE HAPPINESS POWER OF A SUCCESS LIST

“It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis”

—Margaret Bonnano

A success list is a simple way to create more fun, pleasure and enjoyment in your life.

First get a small pocket notebook. Then get into the habit of writing down in this notebook five or more successes that you have each day.

A success is anything you get feel good about yourself when it happens. These successes can be things you do or things that happen to you. The key ingredient is that you felt good about yourself when each success happened.

Examples: A success could be something as simple as getting to work on time despite the traffic. It could be someone smiling at you. A success might be getting positive feedback on something you've done. A success could be doing a task you've been putting off, even though you know it does need to be done. A success could be meeting with an interesting person who inspires you. A success might be taking one small action step toward an important goal.

A success does not have to be earth shattering; however it does have to be something that makes you feel good about yourself when it happened.

Here's why a success list can make every day a good day for you: In a typical day you will have a lot of different experiences. Some of these you will enjoy and some you may not.

Most people usually focus on, talk about and remember the things that happened each day that they didn't like.

We call this, 'looking at the BLACK SPOTS in each day'.

Look below this sentence and what do you see?

●

If you are like most people you will say, “I see a Black Spot.”

This is quite normal. If you see a piece of paper with a black spot on it; your eye is drawn to the black spot.

You tend to ignore the white spaces all around it.

This is like a typical day for most people. The white spaces are all the successes that happened that day that made them feel good about themselves. The black spot is something that happened that they didn't like.

What do most people remember in a day like this?

That's right, the black spot. We are not saying that black spots don't happen. They do.

We are suggesting you spend a few minutes each day focusing on your successes. Because when you do, you'll feel you've had a good day

One of the great benefits of having a success list is that you can use it anytime you want to feel a bit more positive. Just pull out your success list and read it for a few minutes.

When you've used a success list for three weeks or more; you will have written down over one hundred successes you've had in this time.

Imagine how good you would feel reading a list like this.

Think of a success list as being a bit like a photograph album filled with photos of some of the happiest moments in your life. Every time you look at the photos, those happy moments and feelings come back.

Action Exercise: Get yourself a pocket notebook today. Start writing at least five successes you have each day in this notebook. Take note of how you feel after doing this for a week or two.

—Jamie Ford, The Foresight Group, Auckland, NZ

A LICK AND A PROMISE

Some Of You Will Understand This (For The Rest Of You It Will Be A Learning Situation)

“I'll just give this a lick and a promise,” my mother said as she quickly mopped up a spill on the floor without moving any of the furniture.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked as in my young mind I envisioned someone licking the floor with his or her tongue.

“'It means that I'm in a hurry and I'm busy canning tomatoes so I am going to just give it a lick with the mop and promise to come back and do the job right later.”

“A lick and a promise” was just one of the many old phrases that our mothers, grandmothers, and others used that they probably heard from the generations before them. With the passing of time, many old phrases become obsolete or even disappeared. This is unfortunate because some of them are very appropriate and humorous.

Here is a list of some of those memorable old phrases:

1. A Bone to Pick (One who wants to discuss a disagreement)

2. An Axe to Grind. (Someone who has a hidden motive. This phrase is said to have originated from Benjamin Franklin who told a story about a devious man who asked how a grinding wheel worked. He ended up walking away with his axe sharpened free of charge)

3. One bad apple spoils the whole barrel. (One corrupt person can cause all the others to go bad if you don't remove the bad one)

4. At sea. (Lost or not understanding something)

5. Bad Egg. (Someone who was not a good person)

6. Barking at a knot. (Meaning that your efforts were as useless as a dog barking at a knot)

7. Barking up the wrong tree. (Talking about something that was completely the wrong issue with the wrong person)

8. Bee in your bonnet. (To have an idea that won't let loose)

9. Been through the mill. (Had a rough time of it)

10. Between hay and grass. (Not a child or an adult)

11. Blinky. (Between sweet and sour, as in milk)

12. Calaboose. (A Jail)

13. Catawampus. (Something that sits crooked such as a piece of furniture sitting at an angle)

14. Dicker. (To barter or trade)

15. Feather in Your Cap. (To accomplish a goal. This came from years ago in wartime when warriors might receive a feather they would put in their cap for defeating an enemy)

16. Hold your horses. (Be patient!)

17. Hoosegow. (A Jail)

18. I reckon. (I suppose)

19. Jawing/Jawboning. (Talking or arguing)

20. Kit and caboodle. (The whole thing)

21. Madder than an old wet hen. (Really angry)

22. Needs taken down a notch or two. (Like notches in a belt, usually a young person who thinks too highly of himself and needs a lesson)

23. No Spring Chicken (Not young anymore)

24. Persnickety. (Overly particular or snobbish)

25. Pert-near. (Short for pretty near)

26. Pretty is as pretty does. (Your actions are more important than your looks)

27. Red up. (Clean the house)

28. Scalawag. (A rascal or unprincipled person)

29. Scarce as hen's teeth. (Something difficult to obtain)

30. Skedaddle. (Get out of here quickly)

31. Sparking. (Courting)

32. Straight From the Horse's Mouth. (Privileged information from the one concerned)

33. Stringing around, gallivanting around, or piddling. (Not doing anything of value)

34. Sunday go to meetin' dress. (The best dress you had)

35. We wash up real fine. (Is another goodie)

36. Tie the Knot. (To get married)

37. Too many irons in the fire. (To be involved in too many things)

38. Tuckered out. (Tired and all worn out)

39. Under the weather. (Not feeling well this term came from going below deck on ships due to sea sickness thus you go below or under the weather)

40. Wearing your 'best bib and tucker.' (Being all dressed up)

41. You ain't the only duck in the pond. (It's not all about you)

For those of you less than 70 years young, these may be confusing, but you can use these expressions and be cool at the same time.

Well, if you hold your horses, I reckon I'll get this whole kit and caboodle done and sent off to you. Please don't be too persnickety and get a bee in your bonnet because I've been pretty tuckered out and at sea lately because I'm no spring chicken. I haven't been just stringin' around and I know I'm not the only duck in the pond, but I do have too many irons in the fire. I might just be barking at a knot, but I have tried to give this article more than just “A lick and a promise.”

Life is good but retirement is better!

—Allan Pintner, Brecksville, OH

SOME SIMPLE SWINE FLU TIPS...

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat.

In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. “Hands-off-the-face” approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt).

H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation.

In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one.

Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water.

Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.

5. Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits).

If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can.

Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

—Patrick McVay, Elite Investments, Huntington Beach, CA

THE DIMPLED BALL

In my hand I hold a ball, white and dimpled, rather small.

Oh, how bland it does appear this harmless looking little sphere.

By its size I could not guess, the awesome strength it does possess;

But since I fell beneath its spell, I've wandered through the fires of Hell.

My life has not been quite the same, since I chose to play this game.

It rules my mind for hours on end. A fortune it has made me spend.

It has made me curse and cry. I hate myself and want to die.

It promises a thing called “par,” if I can hit it straight and far.

To master such a tiny ball, should not be very hard at all.

But my desires, the ball refuses and does exactly as it chooses.

It hooks and slices....dribbles...dies or disappears before my eyes.

Often it will have a whim to hit a tree or take a swim.

With miles of grass on which to land, it finds a tiny patch of sand;

Then has me offering up my soul, if it will just drop in the hole.

It's made me whimper like a pup, and swear that I will give it up And take to drink to ease my sorrow But “The Ball” knows...I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.

—Paul Sjoblom, Orchard Valley Realtors, San Jose, CA

WOOFIE WOWSER

Here’s a wonderful gift for your favorite Barbeque Chef, or would-be Barbeque Chef, or just awful cook.

This 100% polyester apron solves the problem of what size to get, as it will cover virtually ANYONE.,

You’ll notice it is emblazoned with the NO BULL SELLING logo, but you can have your own printed, if you really insist. In fact you can have anything you want put on it, limited only by the bounds of good taste.

Now in the past you’d have had to order at least a dozen of them to get a reasonable price, but the new technology of ink jet printing let’s us bring the price down to just $20.50. Yes, that’s the whole thing. No setup fees, no extras.

And minimums? How about one? That’s right, just one. Send me your artwork and I’ll have this in the mail to you within the week.

NO BULL SHOTS

“The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
—Flannery O'Connor

“People can be roughly divided into two types: those who look better than they are, and those who are better than they look.”
—Dr. Mardy Grothe

“Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault of thoughts on the unthinking.”
—John Maynard Keynes

“The best way to lose a friend is to put him in your debt.”
—Andrew Carnegie

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
—Bill Watterson

“Habit is a cable. We weave a thread of it every day and at last we cannot break it.”
—Horace Mann

“Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan.”
—A. Whitney Brown

“A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.”
—Gore Vidal

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But, this wasn't it.”
—Groucho Marx

“Dying is no big deal. The least of us can manage that. Living is the trick.”
—Red Smith

“All men's miseries come from their inability to sit quiet and alone.”
—Blaise Pascal

“Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.”
—Jimmy Demaret

“The greater a man is, the greater the courtesy.”
—Alfred Lord Tennyson

“Form good habits—they're as hard to break as bad ones.”
—William Feather

“Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.”
—Oscar Levant

“Let no one be ashamed to say 'yes' today if yesterday he said 'no.' Or to say 'no' today if yesterday he said 'yes.' For that is life. Never to have changed—what a pitiable thing of which to boast.”
—Johann Von Goethe

“Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”
—Mark Twain

“He will be the slave of many masters who is his body's slave.”
—Seneca

“A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.”
—G. Gordon Liddy

“The true worth of man is not to be found in man himself, but in the colors and textures that come alive in others.”
—Albert Schweitzer