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By Hank Trisler
Terry Buchanan is the sales manager for B&H Australia, a purveyor of computer projection equipment in the state of Victoria, Australia and a new subscriber. He runs a five-person sales team and wrote in a recent e-mail: "The biggest problem I have is keeping everyone focussed on achieving consistent results. Too often a person has a great start to the month and, for some reason, seems to start spinning his wheels."
Well, Terry, don't feel like the Lone Ranger. Anyone who has managed a sales team for more than forty-five days has experienced exactly what you're going through.
The selling profession, by its very nature, is a "fowl or feathers" existence. The only managers I have seen who have achieved truly consistent performance have screwed their teams up to the point that no one was selling anything, and you sure don't want that kind of consistency.
The process of long-term strategic planning and the setting of long-term goals are actually counterproductive to sales consistency. Our minds don't seem to comprehend "I will," but only really hook up with "I am." Learning to talk toand programthe unconscious mind is, therefore, the key to getting the best out of our people.
Manage activity, not results. The manager counsels with his salesperson and says, "We need to have you sell two million dollars worth of product this year to help us meet our company goals. Two million is your bogie."
The salesperson looks blankly at the manager and nods. He is not thinking about the company goals. He's thinking about his bills, he's thinking about a new car, a suit of clothes and the fact that his wife's washing machine has been making that funny noise again. It is clearly impossible to comprehend precisely what he must do to sell two million dollars worth of product and, frankly, that goal is fairly low on his list of priorities.
Enlightened managers find out what the salesperson wants to accomplish and finds a way to tie that into the company goals. We need be able to convert results (which we cannot control) into activities (which we can influence, if not control). A Sales Activity Calculator appears on page 172 of NO BULL SALES MANAGEMENT and is a fine tool to help you convert results into actions.
If the salesperson clearly understandsand believes that when his feet hit the floor in the morning, he needs to make X calls, which will result in Y presentations, which will result in Z sales, the activities necessary to achieve the results are clear, both at the conscious and unconscious levels.
If you don't have a copy of NO BULL SALES MANAGEMENT, you can get one through our website www.nobullselling.com or call, write or e-mail me and I'll send you a copy of the Sales Activity Calculator.
Keep Goals and Contests short. Long-term goals only become real to us during the final days of the period. If you set a contest wherein the person who sells the most product this year will receive an all-expense-paid vacation, most of the work will be done during the first couple of weeks, when the excitement is high, and during the last couple of weeks when the deadline is looming. Worse yet, someone may run off and hide early on and the rest of the team will quit trying as the deed has already been done.
We can learn a lot from General Motors accounting. Each month consists of three ten-day periods. All contests, reports, and incentives are based on these ten-day periods. If you have a good ten days, you get to start all over again to make the next ten even better. Rather like the Mess Sergeant's last meal. If you have a crappy ten days, it is in the past and you get to start all over, fresh and clean.
A variation of Murphy's Law states that, "Any task will expand to completely consume the time allocated for its completion." Keep the time frames short and you'll get the most consistency possible in this inherently inconsistent business.
I have been getting a lot of calls from a young man whose boss bought GoldMine software, gave him the manuals and told him to implement the program in a network throughout the company. The fellow is baffled and I'm not surprised. GoldMine is a powerful, complex and sometimes difficult program. It took him three days before he could even send a fax, depending solely on the manual and what help I could give over the phone. Now the boss is mad and giving the young man a fit and wanting to dump the project altogether.
A wise man once said, "Giving someone a software manual and saying, ‘Learn this program' is equivalent to handing someone a copy of a Voltaire novel and a French/ English dictionary and saying ‘Please translate the novel.'"
If you're considering sales automation, don't spend a ton on great software and then mooch out on the training. Most of us never learn to use more than twenty percent of what our programs will do. We can provide professional training to help you get the most out of GoldMine at the lowest possible cost. Oh yeah, I'll charge you, but if you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
In Amsterdam, the tile under Schiphol's urinals would pass inspection in an operating room. But nobody notices. What everybody does notice is that each urinal has a fly in it. Look harder, and the fly turns into the black outline of a fly, etched into the porcelain. "It improves the aim," says Aad Kieboom. "If a man sees a fly, he aims at it." Mr. Kieboom, an economist, directs Schiphol's own building expansion. His staff conducted fly-in-urinal trials and found that etchings reduce spillage by 80%. "We will put flies in the urinalsyes," Jan Jansen says in a back office at the Arrivals Building. He is the new Dutch general manager. "It gives a guy something to think about. That's the perfect example of process control." His New York public relations attendant titters. "Fine, laugh at me," Mr. Jansen says. "It works." 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right. 3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. 6. Do not buy food at the movie store. 7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating. 8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive. 9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent. 10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?" 11. People walk slower here. 12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either. 13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'," as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern-influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it. 14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. 15. Be advised: The "He needed killin" defense is valid here. 16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down. 17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say. 18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased. 19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers. 20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November. 22. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do. 23. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed. 24. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer. 25. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there. 26. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy". 27. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55-mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle. 28. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself. Thanks to Larry Allen, Pro Photo, San Jose, CA Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be executed as soon as possible. Sd/- Project Leader ------------------------------------------------------------------- A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER: That idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines (1, 3, 5, 7,..) for my true assessment of him. Contributor: Jindy Garfias, Chip Express Marketing Department 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside." 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY! 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. 5. You don't know what a moon pie is. 6. You've never had grain alcohol. 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra. 8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. 9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. 10. You have no idea what a polecat is. 11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle. 12. You don't have bangs. 13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. 14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut. 15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. 16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women. 17. You don't think Howard Stern has an accent. 18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun and knife show. 19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach. 20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. 21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp on the highway. 22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. 23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus. 24. You call binoculars opera glasses. 25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. 26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt. 27. You don't know what applique is. 28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean) 29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one. 30. You've never been to a craft show. 31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. 32. You can't do your laundry without quarters. 33. None of your fur coats are homemade. Charlie Teall, of The Congaline Leave Us Alone The Clinton Administration has seemed almost breathless to find a way to help build the information super-highway. Vice President Gore, who loves to show off his MacIntosh laptop, is the head cheerleader. The Administration has decided to spend more than half a billion dollars to support development of flat-panel display technology. There is reason to wonder if the policies the Administration is following make any sense. It is worth keeping in mind that the U.S. personal computer industry that now leads the world grew into preeminence with virtually no involvement by the government. Left alone, someone will develop the best and most efficient way to wire the entire nation. It is far from clear what constructive role, if any, the government could play at this point, except to get out of the way. Brit Hume, Washington Post Fiscal Wizardry Since 1981, when the Chilean social security system was privatized, the compound annual return has been over 13%. "They modeled it on a 5% return," says the Cato institutes. Mike Tanner, "and they know that the return is going to regress at some point. But they're thinking of using the surplus to finance an end to the income tax." Now that's a showstopper. John Dizard, National Dress For Success? Have you been on an airplane lately? Do people know what they look like? Do they care? The answer is, clearly, no. Don't get me wrong. This isn't a snob thing. We are not talking high fashion here. We're not even talking low fashion. Half the time we're not even talking clothes. People actually used to dress up to travel, on the quaint theory that it mattered what they looked like to other travelers. Only in the last few years has the principle finally been reached that you do not dress to travel; you undress. Meg Greenfield, "There will always be worthwhile causes, but not always a 2-year-old in your lap." "Experience has shown, and the true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the largest portion of the truth arises from the seemingly irrelevant." "Uncultivated minds are not full of wild flowers, like uncultivated fields. Villainous weeds grow in them and they are the haunt of toads." "You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." "Friends are like a pleasant park where you wish to go; while you may enjoy the flowers, you must not eat them." "Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we resort to hide them." "Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." "Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous." "It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress." "Nothing is so dangerous as an ignorant friend; a wise enemy is much better." "When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." "Flatters look like friends, as wolves like dogs." "The diseases which destroy a man are no less natural than the instincts which preserve him." "Friendship's full of dregs." "If the idea is good it will survive defeat. It may even survive victory." "Our friends abandon us only too easily, and our enemies are implacable." "Justice should remove the bandage from her eyes long enough to distinguish between the vicious and the unfortunate." "There are no friends at cards or world politics."TIPS FOR YANKEES MOVING SOUTH
THE BOSS ASKED FOR A LETTER DESCRIBING BOB SMITH:
YOU MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF:
SHORT STOPS
Review
NewsweekNUGGETS
Freda Ingle Briggs
Edgar Allan Poe
Logan Pearsall Smith
Erica Jong
Ed Howe
La Rochefoucauld
Hedy Lamarr."
Ambrose Bierce
Mark Twain
Jean De La Fontaine
Elayne Boosler
"A just cause needs no interpreting. It carries its own case. But the unjust argument since it is sick, needs clever medicine."
Euripides
George Chapman
George Santayana
William Shakespeare
Stephen Vincent Bent
Voltaire
Robert Ingersoll
Finley Peter Dunne
